Friday, October 8, 2010

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

  Life can surprise you.  A year ago I was overweight, drinking too much, and watching Sportscenter on loop all day everyday.  It seemed like my mornings/afternoons would be spent wasting time until the night, when I would go out and party or, even worse, watch more TV, get high and order delivery.  I still can't figure out why I was overweight.
  I came out to Los Angeles simply to escape the mundane life I had cultivated for myself back in NY.  I saw that there were more acting opportunities in Cali and I wanted to be back with the Graduates gang.  Friends of mine that had made the move from NY to LA had insisted that you had to be careful about getting lazy when you got to California.  I was worried because I didn't want to move my current lifestyle to LA.  This was part of the reason why I needed to move;  when someone is in a bad relationship they need to remove themselves from their partners and make sure not to continue on this same pattern of lovers.  LA was my new baby girl and I needed things to work out.
  So from the get-go I made sure to be more active.  I started writing again, getting more ambitious about my career, doing yoga and I connected to my old inner runner.  I started running three miles...then five...six...then ten.  It was then that I knew I could fulfill one of my "bucket list" dreams of running the NY Marathon.  Now, less than a month away and up to over 20 miles, I am growing into this empowered being.  I sang in a song I recently wrote that I "used to be a stone, now I'm a mountain" and that is the best way I can describe how I feel about myself.
  Back in July my buddy Pat had begun doing Crossfit and was putting pressure on me to join up.  I was content with my running regiment, but worried that building muscle would make me less funny or change my personality.  Who wants to laugh at some buff Jewish dude?  My ex-girlfriend, a yoga instructor, used to try and pressure me into doing yoga and I had the same concern.  My feelings toward both of these practices now seem ridiculous.  So I joined Crossfit and I'm happy I did.  Crossfit is not the dumb meathead workout I thought it was.  In a 20 minute workout, which is the maximum you'll almost always do, I'm way more winded than I am after running for three hours.
  For most of my life I've felt weak, mentally and physically.  There isn't much vanity involved in my commitment to Crossfit.  I do it because for the first time I feel a mountain.  Mentally, I feel like I can do anything.  Physically, I feel like a true athlete.  I'm living up to my full potential.  It's true, life can surprise you.  But it shouldn't surprise you at all really.  We have the strength in us to be who we want to be.  You just have to want it enough.

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